I’ve taken a break from blogging, as you may have noticed.
For the past month, I’ve been confronting my anxiety with counseling, medicine, deep breaths, and radical self-care. I am still writing, just not for the Internet right now.
A lot of people are talking about mental health right now in the aftermath of Robin Williams’ death. It’s a conversation I’ve watched and grown from, as it speaks to me in my place of beginning recovery. I don’t have anything profound or new to add to the dialogue, and it’s all too raw and fresh for me right now. So I’ll keep this short.
Anxiety disorders are real, and they are terrifying and sometimes overwhelming. But I have learned there is hope for healing, if I seek it out. It is not failing to reach out to a therapist, or to take a little white pill every morning with breakast. I am on my sixth day of medication, and I can feel the fog slowly lifting. My heart isn’t pounding. My stomach isn’t clinched. My thoughts aren’t running 100 miles per hour on a treadmill. I feel at peace, and I wonder why I didn’t get help years ago.
I’ll probably continue to rest from blogging for a bit longer, but not forever. I have so much to say from this experience–just not yet.
Photo by Ellwantstoholdyourhand via Flickr
“Remember the revivals?” my friend Dee asks me.
We are drinking iced coffee on a Sunday morning in the small town we met, the town of our fiery Pentecostal days. The last time I was at this coffee shop, I was a teenager, sipping a strawberry smoothie and listening to my youth pastor talk about how I need to Press In to God more consistently to see [...] Continue Reading…
Sometimes the anxiety comes and seizes me and I feel so small against it.
Something little will trigger it, a worry about the future, a regret of the past, a disappointment in the present – and out of nowhere I’m having to practice Lamaze breathing in the middle of Starbucks.
Once it descends, I can’t seem to shake it. I practice positive self-talk, exercise, smiling, talking through it, prayer, aromatherapy, and warm baths, all which offer [...] Continue Reading…
The gypsy had a layer of skin where eyes normally should go. He also had stringy hair with yellow flakes falling out, and a dirty unbuttoned white shirt. His home was made of cardboard, and his kitchen was a fire pit. The least we could do was heal his eyes.
This was my second Teen Mania missions trip to Romania. We had pulled up in a charter bus to the gypsy encampment that morning to [...] Continue Reading…
This one is for those who have fallen away from a charismatic faith.
Do you remember the days?
The days the Holy Spirit was an intimate force in your life that spoke to you. Sometimes it whispered for you to approach a stranger and bless them with a few dollars. Other times it quietly, but firmly asked you to turn off the TV and intercede for someone you know.
The days the presence of Jesus felt so [...] Continue Reading…