An Open Letter to the Doctor Who Saw Cancer When We Thought It Was A Cold

Dear Dr. Dina Sukharev of Palo Alto Medical Foundation, You probably don’t know who I am, because you never met me in person. You saw my husband in April as a first-time patient on Wednesday, April 20. My otherwise strong, athletic husband had this cold he couldn’t over since Thanksgiving. Every night for months he would cough himself to sleep, and in the morning, he would drag himself to work, and then in the evening, he would muster the energy to play with his 3-year-old daughter Georgie and watch some TV before coughing himself to sleep again. It was just … Continue Reading »»

First Chemo Session Down

Josiah and I are lounging in our backyard, dogs on our laps. It’s a such a nice day it would sound flowery and cliche if I tried to describe it: dappled sun peeking through trees, birds chirping, a slight breeze on our faces. I’ll spare you. On a normal Thursday morning, Josiah would be busy at work with a hundred tasks and I’d be at library story time with Georgie, tapping out my own list of a hundred tasks on my phone. But this isn’t a normal Thursday at all, because this is the day after Josiah’s first chemotherapy treatment. … Continue Reading »»

Confessions of an Internet Lurker: A Guest Post for Kelsey Munger

I’m happy to be featured on my friend Kelsey Munger’s blog this week for her series on Self Care. I stumbled on Kelsey’s blog a couple years ago and her writing instantly resonated with me. When she asked me to write for her Self Care series, I was in a blogging rut and at first said no. I’m so glad she encouraged me to start blogging again and gave me another chance to write for her. Thanks, Kelsey. /// There is something I’m embarrassed to admit to you. I waste a lot of time on the Internet, as I suspect you … Continue Reading »»

“I don’t know what I can believe in anymore”: A story of odd proposals, disillusionment, and letting go

I’ve spent my twenties wandering from and wrestling with the faith of my youth. It’s been a gradual movement in directions all over a muddled map–a slow, foggy journey. My storytelling brain wants to make sense of it all, to organize it in a clean narrative arch, to connect experience with meaning and meaning with experience. This is sometimes difficult to do. But there also are a few landmarks that glisten in the fog, landmarks that I can look back on and say that was it.  *** I’m sitting in my parked Honda Accord outside the baseball diamond at my … Continue Reading »»

Parenting In the Midst of Faith Wandering

Today I’m excited to be writing for Unfundamentalist Parenting, a new collective Patheos blog curated by Cindy Brandt. I share my thoughts on raising kids in the midst of faith wandering, and  it might involve a story of how my toddler was recently evangelized by another toddler at the play-dough table. You could fill a library with all the resources for Christian parents who subscribe to traditional evangelical parenting styles. As for Christian parents who are looking for another way, there isn’t a lot out there for us. That’s why I was so excited when I discovered Cindy and the … Continue Reading »»