For Margot

My friend Margot lost her fight to breast cancer last weekend. We weren’t currently in touch, and I won’t claim we were best friends, but Margot was one of those souls who made an impact on people. I am no exception. The last time I heard from her was in December. The cancer was in remission, and she was hopeful and happy. She was going back to school. Then early last week, I noticed her friends and family on Facebook were tagging her in childhood photos with captions like, “We are sending you positive light; keep fighting.” Then a few … Continue Reading »»

Magical Moments on a Park Swing, or Why My Memoir is a Coming-of-age Story

Do you remember adolescence? You remember the angst, probably. You remember the awkwardness, the unrequited love, the rage you felt toward your parents, the acne. But do you remember those crazy beautiful moments? How all it took to feel like you were at the edge of the world was the right song on the radio, your foot on the gas and your hand out the window? How all the powerlessness you felt day-to-day melted away and all of a sudden you felt like you could do anything? Remember how you’d read a poem, or watch a movie, and there’d be a … Continue Reading »»

Vulnerability Vs. Over-sharing

I’ve learned the difference between vulnerability and over-sharing the hard way. I look back at my college years and shudder. My memory of those first few years in college were an over-sharing fest. Put a bunch of sheltered, horny Christians trying to navigate their first steps in adulthood in close-quartered dorms and mandatory weekly “spiritual formation” groups and it’s bound to happen. I guess. I think they called it community. Or maybe authenticity. I don’t know– there were a lot of buzzwords thrown around that I hardly remember. What I do remember getting way too emotionally intimate with people I … Continue Reading »»

To Those Who Don’t Go To Church

Yesterday, I took my family to church for the first time in a year. I sprung it on Joe and Georgie in the morning after I enjoyed my last bite of the crispy pancakes they made me for breakfast. “Alright, get dressed. It’s Mother’s Day and we are going to church,” I said. Joe looked confused, but not upset. He showered, put on a collared shirt, and dressed Georgie in this billowy teal dress she usually refuses to wear. I heard him negotiating with her while I was putting on mascara. She got a bag of fruit snacks out of … Continue Reading »»

That’s Good Enough For Today: Anxiety

Sometimes the anxiety comes and seizes me and I feel so small against it. Something little will trigger it, a worry about the future, a regret of the past, a disappointment in the present – and out of nowhere I’m having to practice Lamaze breathing in the middle of Starbucks. Once it descends, I can’t seem to shake it. I practice positive self-talk, exercise, smiling, talking through it, prayer, aromatherapy, and warm baths, all which offer varying degrees of relief. But the dull physical sensation doesn’t go away, sometimes for hours, sometimes for days. Some of you will know what … Continue Reading »»